This morning, my boyfriend asked me if I would be driving out to his place tonight. I paused, not quite knowing how to respond. I had just stepped off a plane, arriving home from a business trip which had been short, but exhausting. My house was a mess, and I had a list a mile [...]

Within the concept of loving detachment, there are two types of detachment to practice: physical and emotional. This blog deals with physical detachment and the next one will deal with emotional detachment. Both are critical to your health and sanity. As I mentioned in my last bog, loving detachment doesn’t require that you physically leave [...]

Loving detachment may be the most important tool that someone close to an alcoholic can use to get back their own sanity – but it is a short phrase with a long meaning. This blog attempts to help readers understand what loving detachment is, and how to practice it. According to Google Analytics, the #1 [...]

My support group has an expression: “Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.” As I get further into my own recovery, I recall with some shame the degree to which I held on, in the past, to relationships where I clearly was not celebrated and in fact, felt barely tolerated. This included my relationship [...]

Today marks the launch of my new book “Looking Up: Surviving Life with an Alcoholic”.  The book chronicles about four years of my life before, during and immediately after my ex-husband’s succumbing to alcoholism.  While there is no doubt in my mind that these years marked some of the toughest of my life to date, with [...]

My mother was a genius at getting me to do things around the house.  She’d simply say “but you’re so good at cleaning the kitchen; really, no one can clean it like you can!” and sure enough, she would be right.  I was also told that I never finished projects, and that I was so [...]

A man I was dating a while back was constantly telling me I no longer needed my support program.  After we broke up, I realized that there had been many signs that he was probably an (undiagnosed?) alcoholic.  When the rough years of my marriage began, my ex-husband tried to dissuade me from taking classes [...]

I learned about the healing power of compassion during a period in my life when I was hopelessly unhappy in my job.  For various reasons, changing jobs was not an option so I stayed put, but I decided to add another element to my life that could give me satisfaction.  Around that time I happened [...]

“Stop whistling those dirty songs” said my English teacher in college, as a way of demonstrating to the class how powerful suggestion can be.  Now, of course a tune can’t really be dirty, but if the listener recognizes the tune and remembers the lyrics that go with it, they can certainly choose to be insulted.  [...]