The concept of loving detachment can be a life-saver for the supporter of an alcoholic, but great reward usually requires great work. Embracing loving detachment means embracing some foundational changes in your own actions and beliefs. The first of this three-post series on loving detachment focussed on the overall concept of loving the addict while [...]

Many of the tips and tricks learned in a good recovery program can follow you around wherever you meet conflict or dysfunction.  Right now, I’m practicing a version of loving detachment at work.  A co-worker is upset for some reason, and I’m a beneficiary of his anger.  He snapped at me last week for no [...]

“Stop whistling those dirty songs” said my English teacher in college, as a way of demonstrating to the class how powerful suggestion can be.  Now, of course a tune can’t really be dirty, but if the listener recognizes the tune and remembers the lyrics that go with it, they can certainly choose to be insulted.  [...]

Loving detachment is a great skill for the supporter of an alcoholic.   We tend to gravitate toward situations where we are needed, including in our relationships.  And for good reason: we get things done, we can multi-task like no one else, and we just intuitively seem to know what to do to make the world [...]

By far, the greatest keyword search that brings viewers to this blog is the phrase “loving detachment”.  My guess is that people in pain have been told that loving detachment is powerful remedy, so they are desperate to look on the internet for the recipe.  I was there too, not so long ago.  I searched for [...]

Have you ever played the game “Traffic”?  It starts with a configuration of various sized cars within a small grid, blocking the exit to one small special car.  The object of the game is to move the cars around until you can get the special car out of the parking lot.  It’s not easy, and [...]

There are, indeed, three C’s in the word “acceptance”, but those aren’t the C’s I’m referring to. We who love or have loved an alcoholic want so much for their health and happiness that when bad behavior occurs, we almost forget that they are sick.  If your child had a temperature of 101, would you [...]

While you might not recognize its name, most of us are familiar with the image of a Mobius strip. It’s a circle made of a single ribbon that at some point, twists back on itself – sometimes forming a small loop – before continuing on to complete the circle.  At a quick glance, it can [...]