Waking up can be a painful process. When we are deep in sleep, we may feel warm and secure. We don’t have to think or move, and we feel suspended in space and time for a while. When we wake up, we know we have to change our situation, sometimes facing things that we would [...]

It can creep up on you slowly because sometimes, knowledge is a process rather than an event. When we are in school and learning a program or skills, one moment we didn’t have it and the next, we’ve read or tried it and suddenly it’s become part of our knowledge base. But not all things [...]

It seems appropriate that on the last day of the year, I write a blog that incorporates New Year’s resolutions with a healthier use of one of our Isms. (And as my own New Year’s resolution I’ve decided to henceforth refer to supporters of alcoholics as SOA’s, to make writing this blog a little simpler.) [...]

Loving detachment may be the most important tool that someone close to an alcoholic can use to get back their own sanity – but it is a short phrase with a long meaning. This blog attempts to help readers understand what loving detachment is, and how to practice it. According to Google Analytics, the #1 [...]

A few weeks ago, I was sure I was going to die. It would happen – I figured – at some point during a business trip to Montreal. The plan would go down, or my cab would get into an accident. Regardless, my life would be over and my kids would be on their own. [...]

Last night I held a book launch party for a friend of a friend who has written a book about love addiction. Attendees represented a diversity of professions and personal situations. Some were there for the intrigue, some to support a friend, and some possibly for guidance. I met new people and old acquaintances. I [...]

The other day a very dear friend of mine sent me an email to tell me how reading my book was affecting her. She’s been reading it slowly, highlighting passages that resonate, underlining comments that she wants to refer back to and remember. She said it’s been helping her. Like me, she was in a [...]

Living with an alcoholic, I learned that things could change in an instant.  One moment life can be normal and in the next, I could discover that my husband was in jail, thousands of miles away.  Or I could be having a perfectly normal day gardening only to suddenly learn that he’d had a car [...]

Those of us adept at keeping life going in unusually awkward or even terrible conditions are used to triage: making difficult reprioritization decisions in the moment.  As we move from crises to greater stability, we find that many of the characteristics and habits we developed in survival mode no longer serve us.  But I believe [...]