Loving detachment may be the most important tool that someone close to an alcoholic can use to get back their own sanity – but it is a short phrase with a long meaning. This blog attempts to help readers understand what loving detachment is, and how to practice it. According to Google Analytics, the #1 [...]

They say that infrants grow at the same rate as the strength of our arm muscles, enabling us to carry them as they age, but only to a point. There reaches a time when the size and weight of our child force us to let them go, so they can walk and run and begin [...]

My mother was a genius at getting me to do things around the house.  She’d simply say “but you’re so good at cleaning the kitchen; really, no one can clean it like you can!” and sure enough, she would be right.  I was also told that I never finished projects, and that I was so [...]

A man I was dating a while back was constantly telling me I no longer needed my support program.  After we broke up, I realized that there had been many signs that he was probably an (undiagnosed?) alcoholic.  When the rough years of my marriage began, my ex-husband tried to dissuade me from taking classes [...]

Loving detachment is a great skill for the supporter of an alcoholic.   We tend to gravitate toward situations where we are needed, including in our relationships.  And for good reason: we get things done, we can multi-task like no one else, and we just intuitively seem to know what to do to make the world [...]

By far, the greatest keyword search that brings viewers to this blog is the phrase “loving detachment”.  My guess is that people in pain have been told that loving detachment is powerful remedy, so they are desperate to look on the internet for the recipe.  I was there too, not so long ago.  I searched for [...]

Sometimes, recovery is like walking through a grocery store when you’re hungry.   You might become so overwhelmed by the choices, when you are so filled with need, that making any kind of decision is overwhelming. So you could buy everything, or nothing.   How do we make decisions when we don’t feel our best?  We tend [...]

Many of us, me included, like to start the New Year with a list of  things we would like to accomplish in the coming twelve months.  Over the years, I’ve realized that it is equally important my list also includes desired changes in behaviour and attitude.  It’s not always about adding to your life; sometimes [...]

There are, indeed, three C’s in the word “acceptance”, but those aren’t the C’s I’m referring to. We who love or have loved an alcoholic want so much for their health and happiness that when bad behavior occurs, we almost forget that they are sick.  If your child had a temperature of 101, would you [...]

As a parent – or anyone who loves someone they feel is not entirely capable of looking after themselves – we know that it can be difficult to make the distinction between caring, and care taking.  I recently saw a movie (based on a true story) about a genetically engineered younger sister of a child [...]