It seems appropriate that on the last day of the year, I write a blog that incorporates New Year’s resolutions with a healthier use of one of our Isms. (And as my own New Year’s resolution I’ve decided to henceforth refer to supporters of alcoholics as SOA’s, to make writing this blog a little simpler.) [...]

When you’re in the thick of a dysfunctional relationship with an alcoholic, it’s hard to imagine life will ever be “normal” again. Then as you go through the healing process and life does become more manageable, it can be difficult to stop stressing and micro-managing every aspect of our lives and the lives of those [...]

Have you ever played the game “Traffic”?  It starts with a configuration of various sized cars within a small grid, blocking the exit to one small special car.  The object of the game is to move the cars around until you can get the special car out of the parking lot.  It’s not easy, and [...]

 “Mirror moments” are those times when the alcoholic in your life says something to you which they really mean for themselves.  Ideally, they’d hold a mirror and say those things to the right person, but don’t have the courage or honesty to go there yet.    Realizing they are mirror moments in the first step [...]

Life would be so much easier if we only had our own crazy feelings to deal with.  But for those of us close to an alcoholic or anyone else with serious issues, we must also face their behaviors and emotions.   And those can be pretty cruel sometimes.   The combination of them knowing us well and [...]

Once you’ve learned to start trusting yourself again, you can slowly start to build your trust in others (and maybe even the alcoholic) as well.  We’re not talking about trusting them with your car, or your child at this point; this is just the baby steps of trusting them in a social setting, or at [...]

It’s said that if we refuse to learn from the past, we are destined to repeat it.   In my support group we know that unless we learn life’s lessons, we’ll be hit with them over and over again.  It keeps us working hard on our recovery because we don’t want to relive that misery.  But [...]

Ever wondered why life with your alcoholic can be so challenging, even if they’ve stopped drinking?  That’s because of the “isms”.  Isms are the behaviors and attitudes that are typical of alcoholism and that usually continue, even when the alcoholic finds sobriety.  These can include control-ism, egoism, paranoia, manipulation, impatience, withholding of information, quick temper, [...]

Alcoholism is often called “The Family Disease” because of its affect on everyone in the family.  Don’t kid yourself: the children of an alcoholic do not come off unscathed despite how careful you think you have been around them.  Children are incredibly intuitive, and they don’t always let you know their true feelings.  Regardless, a [...]