Waking up can be a painful process. When we are deep in sleep, we may feel warm and secure. We don’t have to think or move, and we feel suspended in space and time for a while. When we wake up, we know we have to change our situation, sometimes facing things that we would [...]

It can creep up on you slowly because sometimes, knowledge is a process rather than an event. When we are in school and learning a program or skills, one moment we didn’t have it and the next, we’ve read or tried it and suddenly it’s become part of our knowledge base. But not all things [...]

It seems appropriate that on the last day of the year, I write a blog that incorporates New Year’s resolutions with a healthier use of one of our Isms. (And as my own New Year’s resolution I’ve decided to henceforth refer to supporters of alcoholics as SOA’s, to make writing this blog a little simpler.) [...]

The concept of loving detachment can be a life-saver for the supporter of an alcoholic, but great reward usually requires great work. Embracing loving detachment means embracing some foundational changes in your own actions and beliefs. The first of this three-post series on loving detachment focussed on the overall concept of loving the addict while [...]

A few weeks ago, I was sure I was going to die. It would happen – I figured – at some point during a business trip to Montreal. The plan would go down, or my cab would get into an accident. Regardless, my life would be over and my kids would be on their own. [...]

My father had Alzheimer’s, so whenever I hear about anything to do with degenerative brain function, I tend to listen. This morning I spent an enjoyable half hour listening to an archived radio broadcast a friend had sent me the link to. The show was an edition of the CBC’s Quirks and Quarks, and featured [...]

Living with an alcoholic, I learned that things could change in an instant.  One moment life can be normal and in the next, I could discover that my husband was in jail, thousands of miles away.  Or I could be having a perfectly normal day gardening only to suddenly learn that he’d had a car [...]

Many of the tips and tricks learned in a good recovery program can follow you around wherever you meet conflict or dysfunction.  Right now, I’m practicing a version of loving detachment at work.  A co-worker is upset for some reason, and I’m a beneficiary of his anger.  He snapped at me last week for no [...]

Today marks the launch of my new book “Looking Up: Surviving Life with an Alcoholic”.  The book chronicles about four years of my life before, during and immediately after my ex-husband’s succumbing to alcoholism.  While there is no doubt in my mind that these years marked some of the toughest of my life to date, with [...]

Have you ever caught yourself saying or doing something that has made you both ashamed and wonder how you could possibly be acting that way?  Don’t worry, we all have.  Social psychologist Philip Zimbardo conducted a controversial experience at Stanford in 1971 called “The Lucifer Effect” during which men were recruited to create a prison [...]